Gold Guide: Auction House Secrets.

Playing the Auction House.


The auction house is a mini-game in itself. You can use it as a vehicle to sell your finely crafted masterworks, as an up-to-date reference point for item valuations and availability or as a repository for all those bloodied drops you’ve plucked from the still-warm bodies of your fallen enemies.

But first, we shall outline a way of creating profit from the auction house without having to even leave the building.


Speculate to Accumulate.
If, for example, you search your friendly, neighbourhood auction house for epic gear and scan the list of seller’s names you might see that quite a few of these BoE world drops are listed by the same people. Chances are that these people are not lucky enough to have had a multitude of purples drop during their routine daily killing sprees. No, more likely they have seen the epic bits and pieces on the auction house and decided that they could buyout the items and relist them at higher prices and make a profit that way. This technique can work for anything that can be auctioned but things like BoE epics require a beady eye and a large amount of investment capital.

There are usually at least a few people on each server who have already cottoned on to this idea, but not all of them are successful. When I first thought about trying this technique I noticed that a certain player on my server was watching out for low-priced BOE epic gear, buying it out and relisting it at higher prices. I quietly observed his auctions to see if they all sold with regularity and noted that he wasn’t being very successful due to his tendency to relist things at a much-inflated price, and his Prince-like predilection to buy almost anything that was purple, no matter what its use. Unfortunately for him, he serves as a great example of how someone can make things difficult for themselves, despite being on the right track.

He was doing the right thing (in general) but his shotgun approach wasn’t maximising his profits. In fact, by failing to be discerning about the goods he bought and the resale price, he was minimising his profits. But despite this caveat, big rewards can be forthcoming if luck and skill are on your side.

Investment capital is also necessary for top-end crafting sales. The Mechano-Hog (or Mekgineer’s Chopper) requires a vast amount of time input and pricey reagents, but they can reap great rewards. The greater the article’s price tag, the more the profit margin. Big players can even control the price that the entire server pays for certain commodities by maintaining a monopoly on specific goods. For example, stacks of Saronite Ore might sell for 20g each on my server, I decide that I want to sell them for 30g each so I buy out all the ore currently listed for under that price and relist it at 30g. Thus, as long as I keep this up I now control the price of the server’s Saronite Ore. This can be used to maintain a good profit for your miners and as a nice way to temporarily hike up the price of something that has fallen below what would be considered its usual market worth by players who blindly list items at low prices. These blinkered souls are the auction house connoisseur’s arch-enemy and they can destroy the fine balance of any market they poke their bony fingers into.


More Price Maintenance and How to Resuscitate a Dying Market.
Big, bold manoeuvres like establishing monopolies can be risky and time consuming and it is often better practice to drip-feed products onto the auction house a few at a time to keep good profit margins rolling in. Even if you’ve worked hard and made thirty [Scroll of Enchant Weapon – Mongoose]s you should resist the temptation to swamp the market with all your scrolls as this will inevitably cause the price to plummet, and you probably will only sell a couple before you yourself are undercut. However, if you drip in a few each day, undercutting the competition by only a small amount to make sure your listings are the cheapest -but not enough to cause a global devaluation- you will, with patience, see far more return than flooding the marketplace.

Annoyingly though, undercutting is inherent in the World of Warcraft’s auction dynamic. It seems to be the opposite of how real-life auctions work where the price steadily rises through the bidding system. In good ol’ Azeroth, the products slowly become cheaper and cheaper until somebody buys out the entire stock and another seller begins the new list price higher.

If your favoured commodity has taken a nose dive in value recently you can re-inflate the price tag by listing one or two of the items at a much higher price and for at least 24 hours. When the original, cheap ones have been bought out or expired new sellers will, of course, see your inflated price and undercut you. This doesn’t matter though, as your high prices were not designed to sell for the big bucks that they were up at (, if they do it’s a bonus), they were meant to get the average price back up to a better bracket and you should find that even though the new sellers undercut you, their new price will still be much higher than the old, cheap price. This tactic is not something that will work with fast-moving commodities like ores and cloth, but works better with goods that are usually few in number but sell regularly like enchanted scrolls, the slightly rarer potions and elixirs that raiding requires and components for larger crafting recipes.


Advertise Your Wares.
Real-life companies spend billions on global advertising with proven results, so why shouldn’t you take advantage of the city-wide trade channels and throw out the odd message here or there? This is a very useful (and totally free) weapon in the fight to get your sales noticed among thousands of other vendors.

A simple “/2 In the Auction House: [2ron Ore] and [Arcane Dust], cheapest prices!” will suffice. The cardinal rule here is to refrain from spamming, as this will annoy people and, God forbid, might even get your all-important bank character on some players’ ignore lists. A couple of handsomely spaced advertisements is more than enough to let people know that you’ve just listed some bargains, and should only be elaborated upon if you plan to create a ‘public awareness’ of your vendoring identity. Adding a small, creative flourish like “Frank’s Herbalism supplies back on the AH: get the cheapest [Peacebloom] & [Ragveil] before they’re snapped up!” can help your advert stand out in the crowded, ever-scrolling chatbox and if buyer's are happy with your service or prices they will make an effort to check out what you advertise next.

One of the most bothersome aspects of using the auction house as a sales vehicle is the money you can lose. If your auction does not result in a successful sale you can lose the initial deposit, which can often be surprisingly large. Not only that, but there is also a hefty cut taken from the value you sold your products at. While these annoyances are normally modest, they can be significant when trading in very high value commodities. BoE epics and very rare items with ultra-low drop rates that are in high demand often sell for thousands of gold, and so it is often better to be patient and try to sell them through the trade channel first to avoid losing gold in deposit fees and auction house cuts.

Remember you can easily pop a small advert for your extra-special sales on the realm forums that your server might be affiliated with.


Do Your Homework.
In the introductory article I mentioned the importance of research and this is worth reiterating here. Be prepared to spend some time (hours, if necessary) scanning the World of Warcraft forums and auction houses for possible areas of profit, learning what all the reagents are used for and don’t hesitate to dip your toe into other markets, even if that means assigning (and losing) a spot of venture capital. Quite often a great area that you are exploiting now will slowly become less exclusive as more and more players notice and try to grab a share, so you might find that what was once your bread-and-butter is now a white elephant. But, if you’re alert and willing to experiment you will find that as one door closes another one can open.

One of the reasons why many of the markets do not stay static is the evolutionary nature of WoW’s economy. Each patch can herald new achievements, boss tactics and recipes, all creating a ripple effect in the demand for different things here and there and sometimes even rendering existing items redundant. Seasonal holidays are one of the regular occurrences that can bring a small shift in the supply and demand of any related commodities, often having a knock-on effect to other, more everyday areas. When December the 25th comes around, not only will people be start to farm items such as Small Eggs for the holiday quests, in doing so they also neglect their usual farming duties, so auction house becomes slightly less well-stocked with reagents.

This can drive ore and herb prices up somewhat and, coupled with the fact that the seasonal content also requires a great deal of time and many players will choose to expend their playtime engaged in the temporary events, they are more willing to purchase items that they would normally farm themselves. So, there are two reasons why the savvy profiteer should prepare for seasonal events and patch-days in advance.

Lastly, make sure you check the auction house for current prices before you post your sales. In fact, this last point is one of the most important general lessons you can learn and you should adhere to it with every single thing you list. Even if you receive items that you have no idea about, check them out on the auction house and throw them through the Wowhead.com search engine to see what they’re used for before you try to sell them. There are quite a few drops in the game that seem run-of-the-mill or useless but can be actually be sold for thousands. Rare non-combat pets are a very good example of this, and it is not unusual to hear tales of woe from players who have vendored or discarded drops that they have later discovered to be worth hundreds or thousands.


Check out http://www.wowwiki.com/Formulas:Auction_House for specific information about deposit, cancellation fee, and cut percentages.


Join me in the guide’s next instalment where we shall take a look at some of the specific money-makers.

Gold Guide: Maximise Your Profits.

The most fascinating aspect of World of Warcraft for me is being part of the ebb and flow of the economic current. Raid instances come and go, gear is acquired and replaced, and there will always be the odd stray Gnome to pummel, but it is the metallic clink of gold that oils the game’s sinews and keeps everything flowing nicely.

Quite simply, you need gold for almost everything in the game, from repairing your battle-dented armour to collecting pint-sized companions.

Fortunately, gold comes easy. Well, I should say: just enough gold to survive on comes easy. Quest rewards, drops from slain creatures and the proceeds of any gathering professions you might have can all supply enough gold for you to keep your gear in good order, purchase your new skills or spells and perhaps have a little left over to put towards a mount, or a shiny, new sword from the auction house.

If you are satisfied with this rate of income, then you don’t have to read any more of this article, go into the kitchen, make yourself a cup of coffee and login to WoW, you don’t need this guide and you’re wasting valuable playing time! If however, you drool enviously at the folks chugging along on clattering motorbikes, or wish you had one of those three-seater, pimped-out Traveller’s Tundra Mammoths then fear not: this guide will endeavour to help you to maximise your rate of income and, because there are an almost infinite number of ways to make money, hopefully it will help to identify the paths that excite and interest you.

Due to the length of this guide, I’ve decided to hew it into manageable chunks, and so this first instalment will be a general overview. In future, I will add other guides dealing with the auction house, each of the primary professions, a run-down of seasonal cash-ins and a look at specific money-makers. Probably.


Open A Bank Account.
Everybody should have an alt that is set up to act as a ‘bank’. Bank characters save you so much time and money that, other than the initial run from the starting area to the nearest city, there really is no negative aspect to them. My bank character (a level 1 Orc Warrior) even has his own personal guild to take advantage of the extra storage that a guild bank offers. As you make more and more gold you can buy extra bank tabs and eventually have more than enough space to hoard items for future use (or sales). With a bank alt stationed patiently in a city your main characters can frolic murderously through Azeroth, Outland or Northrend, only pausing briefly at a mailbox to send any items marked for storage or sale to your bank. This frees up a great deal of time.

With hindsight, I wish that I had chosen a Hunter as my bank character and levelled him to 20 to take advantage of Aspect of the Cheetah. That run from the auction house to the bank can rapidly become tedious. I would strongly advise against using a high level character as a bank alt purely to help limit loss in the case of your account being hacked. I have had the misfortune to be hacked during the early days of The Burning Crusade and, despite having 5,000 gold on my account, I only lost the 300 that I had on my highest level characters. Similarly, don’t draw attention to your bank alt by kitting them out with expensive ‘Twink’ or novelty items that can be identified from the login screen.

It’s useful to note here that naming your bank character can affect your future income. As this character will be the conduit from your main characters to the auction house it could be maintaining an almost constant presence on the auction house and in city trade channels. Thus, if you call yourself a name with negative connotations such as ‘RipoffMerchant’ or ‘Ninjabank’ there is a chance that buyers will be less likely to want to give you their money. This is especially true when selling on a face-to-face basis through the trade window, where people are more wary of scams. So choose something inoffensive and remember that, as with all character names, you could be stuck with that name for a very long time.


Start Small.
Not all gold making guides recognise that it can be difficult to earn a good gold reserve when starting with a low level character. You may think that WoW has been around for long enough that players should all have at least one level 80 character by now, but this is simply not the case. New players are constantly signing up and many participants who have subscribed for years still have yet to reach the acme due to a very casual playtime schedule and real-life commitments or perhaps they have just scattered their playing time over many alts. Even veteran gamers who have multiple high level characters still begin new (non-Deathknight) characters on new servers where they are severed from their industrious level 80 sugar daddies.

Unless you are aiming for having enough gold to buy your mounts as soon as they are available to your character I would not advise being to ardent about cash generation while you are still low level. The rewards and drops you get from questing and killing should suffice every player other than the ‘Twink’ (who should be exclusively funded by a high level character anyway), and don’t forget that while that fetching robe on the auction house might give you 300 extra points of mana as well as bringing out the colour of your eyes, it’s very likely that it will be replaced in a few levels time, meaning that you wasted your money.


Level First, Farm Second.
This is true for many reasons, the primary being that levelling in itself is the greatest possible boon to increasing your income rate. Your level 20 shaman may be able to farm a thousand Gnolls an hour, but the gold generation will be pitiful in comparison to what you could do with a level 80 shaman in that time (especially if you lack decent-sized bags and mounts). That is not to deflect you from any kind of money-making enterprise. On the contrary, it is always nice to have a degree of buffer money in case you need it, just don't go out of your way unless you really, really need the cash.


Crafting Professions Are Money Pits.
They may sound like fun and offer useful or enjoyable items to augment your avatar, but in general advancing crafting professions (Leatherworking, Engineering, Blacksmithing, Tailoring and Enchanting) are the best ways to become impoverished. Aside from enchanting (more on this later) none of them offer anything that can be considered a must-have for the money-savvy levelling character. Even if you take the crafting profession’s corresponding gathering profession you will still need to spend a large proportion of your gold supply (and time) on items from the auction house, new recipes and trainer skills. Often without being able to sell the items you have crafted for anything more than the vendor price. Crafting professions only cease to become profitable when they are at the maximum level and it takes a massive amount of gold to get to that stage. For the lowbie on a budget this means alternatives should be sought.


Gathering Professions Are Money Makers.
Despite crafting professions requiring a great deal of money and time to progress, people still take them up all the time and are willing to pay for anything that will help them advance the profession quickly. This is where you can really start to make some ‘entry-level’ money from the auction house. Mining, Herbalism and Skinning all give you something for free that other players are willing to pay for, and while the lower level ores, flowers and skins are generally not worth that much (because they are easy to obtain) the higher you get the more worth the middle and later ones have. This is especially true for the natural resources commonly found in the level 40-60 zones where there are the fewest players passing through. Items like Iron ore and Mithril ore are worth more now than in ‘Vanilla’ WoW days because today’s high level players who need them to craft articles for alts, or to level up a new profession are less willing to spend time traipsing around the old places like The Badlands, and those that do revisit the original zones probably consume the things themselves.

So, if you have time, learn Herbalism and Mining (usually the most profitable two choices of the three) and develop them while you’re levelling your character, keep everything that drops from the nodes for selling off later or storing for your own personal use and watch the rise and fall of the auction prices, selling when they are high.


Always vendor grey items.
I make a point of keeping as much bag space free as possible, whether I’m levelling an alt, farming for something in particular or hitting an instance. You never know what is going to drop and I hate destroying things to make space in my backpack. Many people destroy, or even neglect to pick up grey weapons and armour, but this is a huge error: grey items are always worth decent money (relative to your level), and once you start to reach level 55+, they start to break the 1g vendor value. If you do have to discard anything, make certain to retain the grey weapons, as these are by and large worth the most, chiefly the two-handed variants.


Think Big.
So far, we have looked at small investments and low level activity, and while these are excellent ways to learn the capriciousness of the auction house and bring relatively rewarding ends, in the grand scheme of things they garner only small payoffs. To make hundreds and thousands of gold you really need to think big, and for this you will need investment capital and higher level characters.

Most of the money-making techniques that lend themselves to the maximum levels are ones that surround the auction house and high level crafting professions. This is where professions come into their own and can begin to turn a serious profit if enough research and time is dedicated to finding and exploiting their niche products. I will hopefully write separate guides to turning a profit from each of the professions so I won’t say much here, preferring to concentrate on the idiosyncrasies of the auction house in the next installment.

Suffice to say that each major profession offers creations that will make you money. How much money you make is rather dependant on your server’s prices & demand, sales techniques and research. The key word here is research and it is that which separates the sellers at the top-of-the-food-chain from those bottom-feeders that do not maximise their profit potential. Almost everything in the game is worth something to somebody and will sell for a certain price that is based on various factors. The trick is to use research to identify the items that people want to purchase but the supply is limited (or non-existent) or to find out how you can make the product cheaper than the other sellers. To that end I cannot recommend websites like Wowhead.com enough. Wowhead’s database lists every in-game item, where it drops or how it is created, what it can be used for and even displays invaluable players’ comments.


Check out the next guide where I’ll be taking a look at the ups and downs of the auction house.

Ban World of Warcraft!

Yeah, you heard me: ban World of Warcraft!

I recently stumbled upon an interesting web site:

http://www.banwarcraft.com/

As you can probably tell, the main idea of it is to encourage visitors to sign a petition which demands a ban on World of Warcraft, the grounds being that the MMO is fuelling video game addiction and is, I quote: “Present[ing] a clear and present danger to the mental, social and cultural development of teenagers and young adults in the United States.”

So, everyone under the age of thirteen and over the age of twenty-five, and those of you that reside anywhere else in the world are fine, then. Phew, that was close!

Not only does the author give examples of how the nefarious MMO has devastated four bright, young lives which are, frankly, of a rather dubious provenance (one of the self-titled WoW addicts writes that: “Warcraft meant being accepted into clans and gaining levels for your account so you could be highest in the overall rankings”, not how a genuine player would describe the game, in my opinion.). He also offers us a handy list of how we can help to combat the evils of WoW:

• Sign our petition on GoPetition.com - click on the link here.
  
• Tell all your family, friends, neighbors and colleagues about the dangers of World of Warcraft, and ask them to sign our petition.
  
• Write to your local newspapers and radio stations asking them to do an item or feature about the dangers of Video Game Addiction.
  
• Contact your local and state representatives, and ask them for their help in addressing the problem of Video Game Addiction.
  
• Ask your local schools, colleges and local libraries to block access to World of Warcraft game on their networks and computers.
  
• Mention the http://www.banwarcraft.com/ website on your blog or social bookmark page (i.e. myspace, delicious, digg, etc.).
  
• Demand that Blizzard Entertainment establish a department to review and address Video Game Addiction in relation to their games.
  
• Send an e-mail directly to Blizzard Entertainment asking them to make changes to World of Warcraft - see our example e-mail here.

I’m afraid that Banwarcraft.com suffers from being poorly written. There, I said it! The term ‘video game addiction’ is bandied about willy-nilly, despite ‘video game’ being a huge umbrella term which covers consoles, MMOs, heldhelds, gaming applications on your mobile phone, and every single video game from the now ancient Sinclair ZX Spectrum to the more modern, remarkable incarnations, and bizarrely, the author insists on exclusively blaming Blizzard for the problem of addiction, going so far as to call for this ban on only World of Warcraft (one of many Blizzard games) as though a veto on this solitary title in an ocean of similar games would be some kind of cyber-panacea.

Why then should just WoW be banned? Well, the author fails to explain how he came to the conclusion that WoW alone was the origin of video game addiction. No evidence is presented, no sources given. If Banwarcraft.com had done any research at all it would have quickly become clear that although WoW appears to be the market leader it is in fact built upon the shoulders of giants.

Much of WoW’s gameplay has been adapted from other video games and while it makes a very pretty Frankenstein’s monster it most certainly is not in any way, shape or form unique. In fact, many of WoW’s designers themselves hail from a myriad other games studios. If the author calls for a ban on WoW, he must also tackle every single other MMO; Age of Conan; Warhammer Online; EVE online and even Runescape. Do I even need to mention the offline games?

Even then, a ban on all video games would count for nought. What would the ex-WoW, teenage players do if their servers were suddenly shut down? I doubt they would suddenly embrace their parents as omniscient benefactors and throw themselves into charity work. Instead, they would alt-tab to Crysis, Empire: Total War or FEAR 2. What if they didn’t have access to the offline games either? Well, one option would be to dabble in a bit of underage drinking, sex, and drug abuse.


Addictive Personalities
WoW has a vast, truly international player base, and although the subscription figures that Blizzard released last year don’t tell the whole story the simple truth is that eleven million players are bound to include people with unhealthy attitudes to self-regulation.

If someone has an addictive personality they can always find a means to fulfil that urge, whether it is through an obsession with alcohol, gambling, sport or collecting stamps the self-destruction could be difficult to curtail. Too much of anything can be a bad thing and if someone is so deeply immersed in any activity that it becomes an unhealthy fixation it could be an indication that other areas of their lives are greatly troubled. Perhaps they (like many teenagers) are going through socially awkward phases, perhaps they are being bullied. Maybe the parents are to blame for not being able to discuss problems with their children.

Or maybe they just enjoy playing the game.

I will readily admit that WoW is structured to make you want to keep playing (and paying) and there is always something to do in the game but since the demise of the old PvP honour system there is nothing in the game that absolutely requires a player to be in front of their monitor for hours and hours at a time. (Please comment if you think of one.) A casual player can by and large achieve the same things that a hardcore player does, albeit more slowly. Personally, I played WoW a great deal for the first couple of years since its release and despite my zest for raid content in The Burning Crusade I made the difficult decision not to raid in Wrath of the Lich King so that I could keep my evenings free for real-life social activities.

So, it is the player themselves that must regulate their own play time. Just like in life, choices present themselves constantly and you have to make your own decisions. You can’t blame video games for that.

All games offer a temporary immersion in fantastic, rich worlds where people of all ages and backgrounds can socialise and leave behind the stresses of modern existence. In my time as a WoW player I can honestly say that I have met some of the best people that you could hope to meet, learned a great deal and enjoyed myself socially just as much as any time in the rest of my life. WoW has been a very positive experience, which is its raison d’etre.

Banwarcraft.com’s author actually states:
“While it is clear from academic research and studies that the use of video games can be beneficial when used as part of a wider range of applications to support educational programs and to help individuals develop specific skills.
The benefits of using video games can include improved hand-eye coordination, reflexes, motor skills and concentration. Video games can be used in a positive and supportive manner by assisting with learning and education.”

Banwarcraft.com is just another example of the poorly researched rhetoric that the media likes pedal as factual news. The website’s author should login to the game some time, he would soon realise that WoW has a many benefits to offer the participant and, unlike the ubiquitous television, the game itself does not contain swearing, violence or sexual abuse.

He would probably like to start as a Troll, it seems fitting.

OMG Ninja!

World of Warcraft's Deadly Denizen.

There are plenty of things I pine for since I cancelled my World of Warcraft accounts; guild camaraderie; the rare perfect PvP kill; the warm feeling of making huge quantities of gold, and watching the RPers desperately try to immerse themselves while a level one Gnome named ‘Xxqgbmxx’ jumps up and down next to them and spams his gold selling macro.

One thing from World of Warcraft that I don't miss however is loot drama. Almost every player has been involved or borne witness to the ire and hatred that can be caused by the antics of that WoW pariah: the ‘Ninja Looter’.

Possibly named for the cat-like swiftness of their larceny, the Ninja is someone who takes an item without adhering to the rules of ‘fair play’. In a game as vast as WoW there are thousands of different circumstances in which the Ninja can ply his nefarious trade, but they all have one thing in common: the angry response. Without doubt, the act of stealing items is universally despised and as such can often generate very public consequences. Naming and shaming threads have sprung up on guild and server forums and it is not uncommon to see running arguments breaking out over general chat channels.

Despite the thousands of players that reside on a server, the human brain has a capacious talent to remember players’ names and their behaviour, so Ninjas are often quickly ostracized by other players and, more devastatingly, blacklisted by guilds. This can have a dramatic, negative effect for the Ninja’s account.

In spite of these game-changing ramifications there has always been, and probably will always be Ninjas. Below, I identify the five different types of Ninja (concentrating on the instance-based breed), how to spot early-warning signs and ways to minimise the risks.


1) The Noob.
He's stacking strength points on his Mage, doesn’t wait for the tank to build aggro on each pull and never follows the correct boss tactics. The corpse run is this guy’s closest friend. In short, he knows nothing about his class. Nada. Often very young in real life, the true Noob really has no idea about itemization, class mechanics or how aggro works and thus every item that drops is a potential upgrade for his character. No matter how you try to show him the correct playing-style, he probably just won’t understand and he’ll keep ‘Needing’ on everything that drops. This is exacerbated on the European servers by the fact that many players don’t have English as their first language.

Noob however, is something of an umbrella term. You may be an exceptional, experienced player with a great reputation, but the second you take your eye off the ball and roll ‘Greed’ when everyone else passes for the disenchanter who was nominated at the beginning (while you were alt + tabbing to check 4chan), or jokingly type ‘Need’ when your Warlock clearly cannot wield a [Two-Handed Axe of Death], you too may enter the Ninja Hall of Fame.


2) The Career Criminal.
Possibly the most evil of all our Ninja identity parade is the Career Criminal. Premeditated robbery is his pleasure, Hearthstoning his grinning farewell. Perhaps he began his craft by mistakenly taking inappropriate loot while still new to the game, perhaps he just enjoys the thrill of watching the ensuing ‘QQ’, maybe his mother dropped him on his head (repeatedly) while still a baby, whatever the origin of his immoral activities he is a dedicated (to the point of using the Name-Change function), maybe even obsessed proponent of the dark arts. Watching his accusers’ anger is almost as fun as the shiny, new axe that graces a bag slot.

But there is a sub-class to this type, one which can fulfil every facet of the description ‘Ninja’. Like his deadly name-sake, this breed of Ninja can operate so intelligently and subtly that you might not even notice that you’ve been tricked. Under the guise of a normal group/raid member he will politely roll on items that appear to outsiders to be legitimate upgrades, even though he knows that he already has them (or better) stashed away in his bank. This form of larceny is almost the perfect crime and is often accompanied by the Enchanting profession. Nobody can see the contents of another player’s bank and thus cannot prove theft has occurred.


3) The Opportunist.
Here we meet the Career Criminal’s cousin. The Opportunist is not really such a bad egg, but temptation to have an item has motivated him to make that split-second decision to select ‘Need’ for that much-wanted article. It could be that he has been after that piece for a long time and never been lucky enough to win the roll, or maybe the group has been such a bad experience he wants to cut his losses with a nice item. Whatever the motivation, the Opportunist is more than likely a normal player, stirred to the edge of lunacy by frustration, temptation and probably instantly regrets the pilfering.

I have found that random epic drops always make even honest player’s trigger fingers twitchy.


4) The Greedy Hybrid.
WoW’s classes often overlap when it comes to itemization and the gear they need for their chosen talent specialisation. A Druid who prefers healing might find it easier to get group spots (and thus collect better healing gear) if he tanks instances. Hunters and all melee classes can benefit from Agility in some way or another. If your class can use an item that drops then you have a legitimate claim to it and most players will be happy to allow you to roll, especially if you’ve explained beforehand that, despite your current role, you need alternative gear. But there are players who sully this fragile contract, who think their class gives them a right to roll on everything, even if they have no intention of assuming the other roles that their class offers, thus preventing a group member of gear that could be used to great effect.


5) The Master Looter.
As the distribution of precious loot can be a slow and painful task (especially in raids), Blizzard implemented the Master Looter option, where a single player has complete control over who receives the items that drop. Trust is naturally a great factor in choosing who is nominated to be the Master Looter but speed can also force a group or raid to accept anyone who seems willing to don the mantle of authority. In the most unfortunate of occasions this hasty selection can lead to vast amounts of items being stolen in the blink of an eye.

The Master Looter has many varied weapons at his disposal. He can illegitimately give loot to any favourite players in the raid, he can make the odd ‘miss-click’ and give himself or, again a favourite, something by accident, or he can just collect all the Bind On Equip bits and pieces as the raid progresses (insisting that dealing them out at the end will be quicker) and then furnish himself with all the items from whichever boss he prefers (usually the end boss), citing internet problems or just Hearthstoning. It is ironic that the best prevention against Ninjas also offers the chance for a Ninja to make a really big scoop.

Of course, even the most experienced Master Looters can make honest mistakes.


Protect Yourself.
Preventing item loss is a very difficult thing, but sometimes you can spot early warning signs and take action. Does a group member refuse to follow instructions? Do they linger in a Battleground while everyone waits in the instance, or go AFK without warning? Do they roll Need on green-level items that they clearly do not have a use for? If so, they might have similar disregard to loot distribution rules.

Often by the time a group or raid has cleared the first boss, the danger signs have already presented themselves. The hybrid that refused to tank at the start when you couldn’t find a meat shield for love nor money, and yet rolls on the defence gear dropped by the first boss will probably Need on everything he can get away with. Similarly, players also may Ninja items for their professions, which until recently was a very difficult thing to confirm. The advent of the Armoury helps a great deal with this, if in doubt, Alt + tab to desktop and check out if your group’s Rogue really is an Engineer.


A good rule of thumb is to avoid PUGs. Avoid them like the plague. Apart from the fact that people have less respect for fellow PUG members and treat them accordingly, there is also the problem that everyone brings different loot rules to the table. What might be acceptable in your e-social circles might incense someone else. Also, always roll last. This will let you see if someone has Need rolled when they shouldn’t have and at least give you a shot at beating them.

When it doubt about claiming a particular item, simply ask before you roll. If your doubt has not been assuaged, then remember that there will probably be other opportunities to upgrade and Pass.

The best advice I can give is to find a nice guild that has players who play for fun first, loot second and get into their regular instance runs. You will learn their personalities, classes and play-styles and such intimate circumstances breed mutual respect and co-operation. This is the single most effective boon to enjoying your play time. If you really, really have to venture out into the Looking For Group quagmire then be sure to establish firm rules at the beginning, say which kinds of gear you are hoping to obtain and note other player’s responses.


May your rolls always be high.

How To Make A Great Guild Application.

A Guide for Applying to World of Warcraft Guilds.

Despite World of Warcraft’s ceaseless evolution there has been at least one constant since guilds were formed and raiding commenced all those years ago: that of the bad guild application. Though retired, I try to keep up with WoW and guild news and it still amazes (and amuses) me to read some player’s paltry efforts. Most guilds’ recruitment web page offers templates to make it easier for the applicant to sell themselves and yet many players seemingly cannot clear even this first hurdle. Poor grammar and spelling, deception, inter-guild drama and obvious stupidity number among the many reasons an application will fall on its ass.

It has been stated on many occasions that a guild application is not unlike a job application: both lead to a great deal of time devoted to their inherent necessities, fitting in to a new and intimate social environment and meeting what can be high-pressure targets. It’s just a shame most people don’t get paid to play WoW!

So I offer here some tips to the guild applicant.


Spelling & Grammar.
Poor spelling is perhaps the most common mistake that applicants make, and yet it is the easiest one to avoid. As most computers are equipped with some kind of spell checker it is no Herculean labour to copy the text of your application into a blank Word document and adjust the spelling. Even if English is not your first language there is no excuse and although spelling might be no reflection on your ninja-like DPS, not bothering to do yourself justice smacks of apathy.

There is a curious trend circulating among the non-British European players to announce their submission as an ‘Apply’. I have no idea where this originated, but if you’re trying to get into an English-speaking EU guild stick to using ‘Application’, it reads much better to those that are fluent in English, and although often not a deal-breaker, your fluency in the guild’s native language will count in your favour. Hell, even ‘App’ is more acceptable, although brevity is not something I would advocate; it can be interpreted as laziness.

Similarly, try to exclude in-game abbreviations. The use of words like ‘Warr’; ‘Drood’; ‘Destro’ etcetera are fine in chat boxes, but would it really kill you to write ‘Healing Druid’, or ‘Enhancement Shaman’?


Follow the freaking template, gah.
Guilds provide an application template so that they can make sure applicants provide the information that really counts, such as what class and talent tree they play as, how well they understand their role and class mechanics, and if they will fit into the guild infrastructure smoothly.

This template also helps the applicant immeasurably. A series of questions are far easier to answer than having to write what would be a short essay about your character and personality. Adhering to the template includes linking the correct Armoury profile (make sure your character is wearing the appropriate gear for the guild you’re applying to).

If you have anything to add then tag it onto the bottom, in a ‘Final Words’ section (more on this later, in the Final Words section).

At the risk of confusing you, dear reader, I will also say that there is a situation where you can dispense with the rigidity of a template and forge ahead under your own steam. Applying creativity to your application can help it really stand out amid hundreds of others. My old guild leader included a section where applicants could describe how they would escape a desert island given only a few items to help. Most of the answers were very similar (proving that these people didn’t read existing applications, or simply copied them) but occasionally there were ones which stood out. While not a pre-requisites for a good effort, a little creativity and light-heartedness can give you the edge, but you better make sure its worth the deviation, because if its not good enough it will be a good reason to be branded [Denied].


Be Honest.
It may be tempting to exaggerate how many times you’ve single-handedly killed every boss in the game while blindfolded and juggling pink-haired Gnomes but, unfortunately for the liar, there are many ways that deception can be discovered. A quick look at reputation and gear on an Armoury profile can instantly tell the viewer exactly how much of a raid instance a player has completed. Even your very own playing style and knowledge can give you away rapidly, especially in the top-end, competitive guilds where damage and healing statistics are monitored constantly.

Lying about your age, language fluency, gender and raid experience can all be discerned as soon as you are asked to join the guild’s TeamSpeak or Ventrilo server.

Also, don’t forget the power of word-of-mouth. The vast majority of players have been in other guilds and have friends who might know you from groups, raids or even general chat. Don’t be naïve enough to assume your application won’t be discussed with your old guild leader or an ex-guildmate. That ninja you pulled in Wailing Caverns or the time you ripped off someone’s alt might come back to haunt you.

In short, honesty is the best policy.


Am I Needed?
If you’ve played the game for a while, you should know which aspect of it that you favour. Are you a life-saving healer? Perhaps you take the armour-denting path of the tank. Whatever niche you enjoy the most, make sure the guild you’re applying to needs you. There is little point spending hours on a cracking application for your Warlock if already has a thousand ‘caster DPS’ lined up for a handful of raid spots.

Similarly, if the guild is a PvE-oriented endeavour, there is no profit in bragging about the eight million points of resilience you are gemmed for. A switch from PvP to PvE should be accompanied by spending a while gathering at least basic, appropriate gear. Guilds rarely want to spend time and effort gearing up players who want a free ride to Epic City.

It is always advisable to study the guild’s raiding times, too.

In a few circumstances it can be worth applying even if you aren’t needed. Many guilds will say they retain exceptional applications for future reference. They may even throw you a trial to see if you’re worth cramming in.


You are not prepared: the grass is not always greener.
Nobody likes a guild-hopper as it suggests guild-drama and a problem player so never /GQuit until you’re absolutely sure you and your current guild are not compatible. Every guild has unlikeable characters, power-hungry or incompetent officers, failing raids, loot drama and sometimes claustrophobic rules.

Also remember that if you want to join a server-topping raid guild there is a massive amount of peripheral time that you will need to devote to being raid-ready.

You will be required to perform to the best of your ability in raids and, as WoW is essentially a giant mathematical equation, be prepared to spend a lot of time theory-crafting, reading class mechanics forums, researching raid tactics and downloading and updating mods/addons. Going AFK during raids without permission is also a cardinal sin, no matter if your dinner is ready, parents are angry or your house is burning down. The days of hiding inside the corpse of a Corehound are long gone, so get a comfortable chair and a pack of Red Bull.

Even your in-game time will be eaten up with raid preparation. Many guilds require their raiders to arrive on time, packed full of potions, reagents and alternative gear. So, say goodbye to that Battleground time you used to enjoy because there might be a never-ending amount of repair money, herbs, ores and gear to farm.


Final words: anything else you’d like to add?
That difficult section at the end that a lot of guilds tack onto their template can present a hurdle to some players, but should be seen as a golden opportunity to augment your achievements or smooth over your deficiencies. At the end of the day, guild masters, class leaders and officers are only looking for competent players who are not arrogant or boastful and who will quietly fit into the status quo, so a simple ‘Thank-you for giving me the opportunity to apply. I’d be happy to answer any more questions you have’ or ‘I’ve heard great things about this guild and have really enjoyed the groups where I’ve played alongside your members’ are enough to sign off with.

‘Pick me cus im gr8’, ‘can I have a quick reply because I’ve also applied to another guild?’ or ‘im better than some of ur current players’ are not suitable!

The last thing you should do is to read through your own application, check that the links work, spelling is correct and that you’ve answered everything asked of you. If you can't put five minutes of effort into a guild application, officers can only assume you won't pull your weight in the guild.

Good luck!


P.S. If you do follow any of the above and are successful, I reserve the right to 10% of your future epics. Thank you.

Welcome To The New Site!

Welcome to the new page: WoW Neophyte! Why the new name & location, I hear you cry? Well, I have decided to create this new blog so I can concentrate all the existing and upcoming World of Warcraft guides and articles in one convenient place. I will probably still be bashing off the odd WoW-related article over on Blogmange, but now on a much more casual basis.

I hope you like the changeover. Don’t forget to update your bookmarks!